TRAINSPOTTING

Legs run along the pavement. They are Mark Renton's.
Just ahead oh him is Spud.
As they travel, various objects (magazines, CDs) fall from their jackets

Renton (voice over)

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers.

Int Sweeney's flat. Renton is drugged on the floor.

Renton (voice over)

Choose good health, low cholesterol end dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.

6 a side football.

Renton (voice over)

Choose ‘Busted' t-shirts with matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on higher purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose E4 and wondering who the fuck you are watching on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind numbing, spirit crushing pop acts, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end if it all, pishing your last in a miserable MTV Crib, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats on Top Of The Pops. Choose your future. Choose life.

Renton is hit in the face by a football. He lies back on the Astroturf.

Renton (voice over)

But why would I want to do a thing like that?

Renton lies on the floor. Sweeney, Allison and baby and Spud are preparing to jack off.

Renton (voice over)

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got an annoying pop song stuck in your head?

Sick Boy

“I Should Be So Lucky ” is better than “ Je Ne Sais Pas Pour quoi”. Both of them are a lot better than “The Locomotion”, a judgement reflected in its relatively poor performance in the charts, in which field, of course, “Especially For You” was a notable success”

Renton (voice over)

People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shite, which is not to be ignored, but what they forget –

Spud is jacking off.

Is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all we're not fucking stupid. At least we're not that fucking stupid. Take the best orgasm you've ever had, multiply it by a thousand and you're still nowhere near it. When you're masturbating over Kylie Minogue you've only one worry: scoring a copy of Heat Magazine. When you've cleaned up you are suddenly obliged to worry about all sorts of other shite. Not eighteen yet: can't get pished. Over eighteen: drinking too much. Can't get a bird: no chance of a ride. Got a bird: too much hassle. You have to worry about bills, about food, about Tottenham Hotspurs who never fucking win, about human relationships and all the other things that really don't matter when you've got a sincere and truthful pop music habit.

Sick Boy

I would say, in those days, he was a muscular singer, in every sense, with all the presence of someone like Darius Dinesh or Ronan Keating, but combined with a sly wit to make him a formidable romantic lead singer, closer in that respect to Gary Barlow.

Renton (voice over)

The only drawback, or at least the principal drawback, is that you have to endure all manner of cunts telling you that-

Int pub. Night

Begbie

No way would I poison my ears with that shite, fucking Chemical Brothers, no fucking way.

Tommy

It's a waste of your life, Rents, poisoning your ears with that shite.

Renton family home, at table, eating

Father

Every chance you've had, you've blown it. Stuffing your head with that filth.

Int Sweeney's flat

Renton (voice over)

We called Sweeney the mother superior on account of the size of his breasts. Of course I'd buy another single: after all I had work to do.

Ext park day. Renton and Sick Boy lying on grass with air rifle.

Renton (voice over)

The downside of switching off Radio One was that I knew I would need to mix with my friends again in a state of full consciousness. It was awful: they reminded me so much of myself I could hardly bear to look at them. Take Sick Boy for instance, he gave up synthetic pop at the same time as me, not because he wanted to, you understand, but just to annoy me, just to show me how easily he could do it, thereby downgrading my own struggle. Sneaky fucker don't you think? And when all I wanted to do was lie there alone and feel sorry for myself, he insisted on telling me once again about his unifying theory of life.

Sick Boy

It's certainly a phenomenon in all walks of life.

Renton

What do you mean?

Sick Boy

Well, at one time, you've got it, and then you lose it, and it's gone forever. All walks of life: Girls Aloud, for example, had it and lost it, or Daniel Bedingfield, or Steven Gateley.

Renton

Some of his solo stuff's not bad.

Sick Boy

No, but it's not great either, is it? And in your heart you kind of know that although it sounds all right, it's actually just shite.

Renton

So who else?

Sick Boy

Faye from Steps, Holly Valance, Jason Donovan, Mr Blobby….

Renton

OK, OK, so what's the point you're trying to make?

Sick Boy

All I'm trying to do is help you understand that “Spice Up Your Life” is merely a blip in an otherwise uninterrupted downward trajectory.

Renton

What about “Two Become One” ?

Sick Boy

I don't rate that at all.

Renton

Despite the Brit Award?

Sick Boy

That means fuck all. The sympathy vote.

Renton

Right. So we all get old and then we can't hack it any more. Is that it?

Sick Boy

Yeah.

Renton

That's your theory?

Sick Boy

Yeah. Beautifully fucking illustrated.